Love Is In The Air ♥

Monday, January 25, 2010

Chapter 3: Not Such A Happy Chapter

Has your body ever told you something (anything), so you had it checked out, but your doctor couldn’t find anything wrong? That’s what I feel like I’m going through…

There is something wrong with my heart. I know it. My pulse will race so high that I can’t even count it because it’s going so fast. (My grandma’s automatic blood pressure machine caught it at 214 when I was 15 years old!) I have chest pain. So badly, that my mom and boyfriend thought I had a heart attack in November. A sharp pain started in my chest, ran up my neck, into my jaw, up my face, and into my sinus. It lasted for over an hour, and got worse as the time went on.

My doctor told me she thought it was heartburn, which was causing an “esophageal spasm”. When I went back for my last check-up, all of my heartburn had almost disappeared, but the pain and fast heartbeats keep happening. So, now she has me on a beta-blocker. This is supposed to slow my heartbeat down by 20 beats per minute. It’s working in that sense, but my heart is still racing.

I saw a cardiologist when I was younger, but she never found anything wrong. She even had me hooked up to a portable monitor that stayed on my body for a month… more than once. I would have my usual symptoms and everything, but the monitor never caught it.

I just know something is wrong. And the fact that none of the doctors I’m seeing can find anything bothers me.

It’s like cancer. Since I was a child, I’ve just known that I was going to get it. And when you tell people this, they look at you like you’re crazy and being a hypochondriac.

But it’s just something I know. My body is telling me these things, but no one else will listen.

Rainy, cold days like this give me the blues.

I don’t know if I have much more to say right now. Nothing is coming to mind. Just random nonsense that I’m sure no one wants to hear. lol [Sorry. I'm usually more optimistic about things. I'll try for a more "happy-go-lucky" entry next time. (: ]

-Grizzly Girl