Love Is In The Air ♥

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Chapter 4: Good News

I finally got a job! This is going to end the unemployed slump I've been in for far too long!

I am going to be a Veterinary Technician at an animal hospital in a town that's about 30 minutes from me! I'm also getting my old salary of $13.50 an hour! And... I start tomorrow!!! I'm so excited!

Things are finally starting to look up!

-Grizzly Girl

Monday, January 25, 2010

Chapter 3: Not Such A Happy Chapter

Has your body ever told you something (anything), so you had it checked out, but your doctor couldn’t find anything wrong? That’s what I feel like I’m going through…

There is something wrong with my heart. I know it. My pulse will race so high that I can’t even count it because it’s going so fast. (My grandma’s automatic blood pressure machine caught it at 214 when I was 15 years old!) I have chest pain. So badly, that my mom and boyfriend thought I had a heart attack in November. A sharp pain started in my chest, ran up my neck, into my jaw, up my face, and into my sinus. It lasted for over an hour, and got worse as the time went on.

My doctor told me she thought it was heartburn, which was causing an “esophageal spasm”. When I went back for my last check-up, all of my heartburn had almost disappeared, but the pain and fast heartbeats keep happening. So, now she has me on a beta-blocker. This is supposed to slow my heartbeat down by 20 beats per minute. It’s working in that sense, but my heart is still racing.

I saw a cardiologist when I was younger, but she never found anything wrong. She even had me hooked up to a portable monitor that stayed on my body for a month… more than once. I would have my usual symptoms and everything, but the monitor never caught it.

I just know something is wrong. And the fact that none of the doctors I’m seeing can find anything bothers me.

It’s like cancer. Since I was a child, I’ve just known that I was going to get it. And when you tell people this, they look at you like you’re crazy and being a hypochondriac.

But it’s just something I know. My body is telling me these things, but no one else will listen.

Rainy, cold days like this give me the blues.

I don’t know if I have much more to say right now. Nothing is coming to mind. Just random nonsense that I’m sure no one wants to hear. lol [Sorry. I'm usually more optimistic about things. I'll try for a more "happy-go-lucky" entry next time. (: ]

-Grizzly Girl

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Chapter 2: The Layers Of Grizzly Girl

Here's a survey to let you know more about me. An actual post will be coming soon, I promise!


-- Name: Grizzly Girl

-- Birth date: November 25, 1986

-- Birthplace: NH

-- Current Location: New Hampshire

-- Eye Color: Blue

-- Hair Color: Brown

-- Height: 5' 2 3/4"

-- Righty or Lefty: Righty

-- Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius


-- Your heritage: Irish, Osage Indian, Welsh, Scottish (my mom also says 'asshole from your grandfather')

-- The shoes you wore today: Flip flops

-- Your weakness: Hm... being too soft hearted, and no will power

-- Your fears: LOTS of things... the dark, bugs, frogs... pretty much the world...

-- Your perfect pizza: Extra EXTRA sauce, feta cheese, spinach, tomato... but pizza sauce and bananas alone are great, too. (Not on a pizza... just dipped together)

-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Hmmm. I'd love to lose weight!


-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: "LOL"

-- Your thoughts first waking up: I want more sleep!

-- Your bedtime: Usually around 11

-- Your most missed memory: My family actually being friendly with each other...


-- Pepsi or Coke: Ew, neither. Water, or orange soda, please.

-- McDonald's or Burger King: Again, neither. I'll take some Subway, though!

-- Single or group dates: Depends on who I'm with... mainly single, but group dates every now and then can be realyl fun!

-- Adidas or Nike: Uh... neither? It doesn't matter to me. As long as it's cheap and comfortable, I'll wear it.

-- Iced Tea or Nestea: Home made ice tea!

-- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate

-- Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino!


-- Do you...

-- Smoke: *gags* NO!

-- Cuss: I tend to have a mouth like a trucker...

-- Sing: Not professionally, but in the shower or when I'm alone I do.

-- Take a shower every day: No... about every other day.

-- Have a crush: A crush, a love, a soulmate, yes. All of the above. :)

-- Do you think you've been in love: Yes, and more than once, but the love I'm in now is by far the best thing that's ever happened to me.

-- Want to go to college: Been there, done that.

-- Like(d) high school: No... that's why I transferred to night school. Well, it wasn't the school part of it... it was the people. I hate them. I hate them all.

-- Want to get married: Very much so, and now more than ever.

-- Believe in yourself: I am more and more each day.

-- Get motion sickness: No, but I do get car sick if I read while I'm in a car. Oddly enough, even if the car isn't moving. That's got to be psychological, right?

-- Think you're attractive: I didn't use to, but now I do (not in a conceited way...)

-- Think you're a health freak: Eh... I am a little.

-- Get along with your parent(s): My mom, yes, mostly... my dad, not so much. Although, I might if I actually got to see him more than once every couple of years...

-- Like thunderstorms: Eee dog no!

-- Play an instrument: I can play the keyboard, piano, organ, recorder and the kazoo!


-- In the past month...

-- Drank alcohol: Yes, but I had a bad incident with it, so I'm really trying to not drink often now.

-- Smoked: Never have, never will.

-- Done a drug: Well, not an illegal drug.

-- Had Sex: Muahahahaha!

-- Made Out: Of course!

-- Gone on a date: Yes

-- Gone to the mall: Nope.

-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No... too many at once makes me sick...

-- Eaten sushi: Ugh no!

-- Been on stage: Nope.

-- Been dumped: No thank goodness!

-- Gone skating: Yes! (Wait... I think it's been within the last month...)

-- Made homemade cookies: Hell yeah! We made Christmas cookies, but they didn't come out looking so great. lmao

-- Gone skinny dipping: No way! It's too cold!

-- Dyed your hair: Nope. I think I'm done with that stage in my life.

-- Stolen anything: No.


-- Ever...

-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes! I actually had a card game made for me that requires you to do crazy stunts, including removing your clothing. lol

-- If so, was it mixed company: Yes.

-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yeah. Hence the "bad experience" I talked about before.

-- Been caught "doing something": Actually, no!

-- Been called a tease: Maybe? I think it would only have been in a playful way, though.

-- Gotten beaten up: No.

-- Shoplifted: Yes. I wasn't the best teenager in the world.

-- Changed who you were to fit in: Unfortunately... stay yourself! If people don't like you for who you are, then screw them! (not literally, of course...)


-- Age you hope to be married: Hm... 27-ish?

-- Numbers and Names of Children: 2, maybe 3... preferably a boy, then girl (older brothers are great for protection...). I'm not giving the names, because I've picked too many for girls, haven't decided on the boys, and you might take them! ;-)

-- Describe your Dream Wedding: Not a lot of people... close friends and family... in a nice setting, probably outdoors.

-- How do you want to die: While sleeping, or at a time where I don't expect it and see it coming, while I'm happy, and feel no pain.

-- Where you want to go to college: Been there, done that again.

-- What do you want to be when you grow up: I am grown up, and I'm a vet tech!

-- What country would you most like to visit: Australia!


-- In a guy...

-- Best eye color? Blue?

-- Best hair color? Brown? See, these things don't really matter to me. Personality is more important.

-- Short or long hair: I like to be able to run my fingers through it!

-- Height: Taller than me

-- Best weight: Preferably nice and muscular, but looks aren't totally important.

-- Best first date location: I think it really depends on the person I'm dating. The typical dinner and a movie wouldn't always fit the other person.

-- Best first kiss location: Susty's was pretty good, if you ask me. (More on this later, maybe.)


-- # of drugs taken illegally: I haven't taken any street drugs, but I have occasioanlly mis-used prescriptions. Most of this occurred while I was a teenager.

-- # of people I could trust with my life: Not many. That's kind of sad...

-- # of CDs that I own: 58-ish

-- # of piercings: 3... both of the bottoms of my ears, and my right cartilage.

-- # of tattoos: 2, on both of my wrists.

-- # of scars on my body: Oh dog... I have too many!

-- # of things in my past that I regret: There's too many to count...

-Grizzly Girl

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Chapter 1: Welcome To My Blog... Get To Know Me!

You know what? Here I am. All of me. You can like me or not - your choice.

There’s a person behind this blog. If you choose to leave a rude or mean comment, you need to keep in mind that someone actually reads it and takes it to heart.

So, I have a thing about being on time. Or doing what you say you’re going to do when you say you’re going to do it. That’s called courtesy. Manners. You know, the “old school” of considerational thought. I don’t see a problem with that. And if anyone decides that because it bugs me when someone doesn't follow through or shows up late without a call or explanation, that they don’t want to be my friend anymore... well, there’s the door.

I get close to people very easily and very quickly. Please, don't break my heart.

I don’t “divorce” my friends when they cut their fingernails or toenails in front of me, even though the sound drives me nuts and literally makes me nauseated. I don’t give them the boot when they whistle continuously. I just grind my teeth. Diamonds aren’t my best friend.

I'm somewhat shy at first, but once you get to know me, conversation comes easily. I love being fun and crazy, like going to an amusement park, or being a bit childish and going to Chuck E. Cheese's to play games, or just hanging around the house all day watching movies.

It does matter to me if you show up habitually late when we have plans. Once in a while because, you know, the cat threw up or the water heater burst or you woke up late – that’s fine. But if you're constantly late without regard to the people who are waiting for you (and without a call)... I have a problem with that.

I cannot tolerate anybody making rude or mean comments about anybody else - not gay jokes, not fat jokes, especially not racial slurs. No one person is any better or any worse than anybody else. I’ve spent my entire life being made fun of and being shoved to the side because of who I am. I won’t let anyone do that to anybody else.

I believe in random acts of kindness, and actually doing them. I don’t expect a pat on the back for it. I just want other people to do the same for someone else.

I’m a Democrat. I’m Pro-Choice. I have Fibromyalgia. I drive an automatic. (Just thought I’d throw that in there to throw you all off.) I love it when wait staff come over to me in a restaurant to sing “Happy Birthday”. I'm transitioning into being a vegan, can’t stand rap music, and speak 6 languages, but 3 aren’t real.

So there I am. In a very small, very cramped nutshell. Most of you, I’m sure, will stick around. The die-hards. The favorites. The family. The rest of you... well, if you leave, all I have to say is that I’m sorry for you that you can’t take me as I am.

I will not pretend to be someone else ever again. I will not compromise my character or my principles.

I am who I am. I like who I am, quirks and all.