Chapter 11: Clean Up On Aisle 3...

This entry (I almost said episode… lol) is going to be one long rant. Shut up and deal, or leave now.

One of the most annoying things I have to endure on a weekly basis is grocery shopping. I literally cannot stand it. I like to make my list of what we need, go to the store when there are no people there, and be in and out as quickly as possible. However, it never seems like I can do this in a timely manner. Why? (And this is in no specific order…)

1) The people. Yes, that’s right, you, the consumer. You annoy the hell out of me.

a) Don’t know what you want for the week? That’s fine, it happens to everyone. Stand there and look and choose what you want. But! Do not stand there, in the middle of the aisle so no one can pass you, and look at the shelves and debate about food. This is extremely rude. And don’t get irritated when someone comes up behind you and politely says “excuse me” so they can get around you. Hello! You are the one blocking the aisle, not me. Oh, I’m sorry I broke your concentration and now you have to start all over again on comparing the Ho-Hos to Twinkies. My bad! Give me a break!

b) If your kids can’t behave in the store, leave them home! Now, I realize not everyone can do this, so here’s my solution to that problem: teach them how to behave better in the store! It’s not that hard, really. As a child, I was always well behaved in the store. If I wanted something and asked my mom if we could get it and I was told no, then I didn’t scream and cry and throw a temper tantrum. Now, if you bring the kids to the store, and they begin throwing a tantrum, don’t grab their face and scream at them and tell them they’re being a brat. This does not help the situation. Also, you probably shouldn’t slap their face in front of 20 people. It just looks bad. I’m not saying that punishing your child for being bad is wrong (but I’m not advocating child abuse, either), but slapping them across the face when they’re crying because they wanted the package of cookies and you told them no… well, that’s just mean. Here’s another solution! If they start to act up and you have given them a warning or two, take them out of the store! It’s less embarrassing for you and less annoying for the other shoppers!

c) If you are an employee of the store, it’s in your best interest to actually do your job and be friendly towards the customers. First off, it helps you keep your job, which helps you get money, which helps you live your life. Secondly, it helps the store look good, which can help you get a promotion, which will help you get more money… well, you see where this is going. If someone comes up to you to ask you where to find a certain product or just has a general question, don’t get all pissy. It’s part of your job description to help the customer. If you don’t want to interact with people, you should get another job, preferably one where you are stuck in a cave all day. And if you’re a bagger or cashier, be helpful. Don’t put a carton of eggs on top of a loaf of bread. Pay attention when you’re bagging the groceries… don’t yell across the store to one of the other baggers and talk about your date last night. There’s a place and time to talk about those things, and being at the end of a conveyor belt with fresh produce in your hands is not the place for it.

d) (I debated whether or not to go into the parking lot in the “people” section of this entry, but I think I will, because technically the people cause the parking lot drama.) If you’re waiting for someone who has gone into the store, don’t park right in front of the store in the FIRE LANE. Go find a spot in which you can clearly see the door, and wait for the person there. When you see the person coming out, then you can drive up to them. But, don’t block the entrance with your car, and make people walk around you. How fricken lazy can you be?? Also, if you have parked 2 spaces away from a “Cart Corral”, don’t put your shopping cart in front of another car and leave it there. Walk that extra 10 feet and put the cart in the designated spot. It’s not that hard. Yes, I make exceptions for handicapped people. Sometimes it’s hard for them to walk that far, and I understand that. This is the only exception, though.

2) My boyfriend. (Please understand that I love hm dearly!!!) He seems to like to take his time. It’s like, “Oh, I’ll mosey over here for a minute and look at this shelf. Then I’ll take a couple of things off the shelf and stand there and read the ingredients and compare everything in each package. Then, I’ll put all but one of the things back. 10 minutes later, I’ll realize I wanted one of the other things, so I’ll trek back there and exchange the packages”. And then it comes time to pick out his snacks for the week. And we stand there in the aisle for 10 minutes while he debates how his tastes will be for the next week or so, but then he decides that he doesn’t really know what he’s going to want for that week… so he picks the same thing that he had last week… almost every time. I love him, but I abhor grocery shopping with him.

I think that’s about it for ranting. I’m sure I left stuff out, but I’m being rushed by time (I have to get ready for work) and I’m in a major brain-fart today.

Do you have any gripes about grocery shopping, or shopping in general? Let’s hear them!

-Grizzly Girl